Habit - the foundation of wellbeing and flourishing

Does it really take 21 days to form a new habit?

Is it possible to get rid of bad habits once and for all?

How to effectively implement the habit?

All these questions may seem trivial at first glance, but it turns out that the popular opinions circulating about habits are nothing more than myths. Habits have a huge impact on our lives and wellbeing, so it's worth understanding how they really work.

Habits are formed when new behaviours become automatic, and that's because the most frequently repeated patterns of behaviour are literally encoded into our neural pathways.

How do habits work?

Think for a moment - how many times a day do you check your mobile phone? Is it a conscious decision or rather an action taken without much effort and thought?

To understand the process of forming habits, it is worth reaching for the book "The Power of Habit", in which Charles Duhigg explains the three-step process defined by scientists at MIT, which is the basis of every habit. In general, in our consciousness, every habit brings some benefit - whether immediate or delayed in time. Habits that we perceive as immediate "rewards" are easier to implement in our lives permanently. Those that bring benefits in the long term are more difficult to absorb and maintain. Think how much easier it is to choose an evening with Netflix over a gym session after a long day at work.

A habit consists of three elements:

1. Cue, the trigger for action.

2. Routine, the response to the cue.

3. Reward, the benefit associated with the behaviour.

To illustrate the process, let's take social media as an example. The cue could be a notification on your phone that someone has commented on your post. This notification serves as a trigger that leads to the routine, the actual behaviour. When you receive a push notification, you automatically check your account. The reward is the benefit you get from the routine. In this case, it will be a positive social stimulus in the form of a comment, giving a sense of belonging.

This immediate gratification triggers dopamine and strengthens the routine, helping your brain classify such behaviour as desirable.

Controlling the Routine, Not the Cue

Often, when introducing new habits, we don't notice the change because their immediate impact is minimal, negligible. If you're not in shape and you go for a run, your fitness level won't dramatically improve overnight. However, habits are the basis for long-term positive change. Understanding the process of habit formation will will help you in practice. It will be easier for you to design a new habit, but also to modify the undesirable ones.

Therefore, when planning to change a habit loop, remember that your cue to act is already rooted in your mind, like going to work. However, what you can change is the routine. Don't struggle against the desire, as it's a battle you're likely to lose.

Contrary to appearances, changing the "loop" of a habit is not as easy as it may seem. Let's imagine that you buy your favourite takeaway coffee every day before work. After a few months, you realise that this is an expensive habit, so you promise yourself to make coffee at work to save money. In the first week, you have managed to skip the beloved café, but you quickly fall back into the old habit. Why is this happening? While saving money is a reward, it's delayed in time. Compared to instant gratification (i.e. a cup of delicious coffee that you enjoy), it is less appealing. So when planning the process of changing the habit loop, remember that your impulse to act is already ingrained in your head i.e. going to work. However, what you can change is the routine itself. So don't try to fight desire, because it's a fight doomed to failure.

Focus on changing your reaction. Choose a new, healthier behaviour. If you've been turning to unhealthy food for stress relief, simply ignoring that need will be extremely difficult (your brain is literally screaming Give me food!). What you can work on is a modified routine. Instead of pizza, reach for nuts or pre-prepared healthy snacks.

Building a habit is a lengthy process, contrary to the common myth of it taking an average of 21 days; it takes 66 days (James Clear, "Atomic Habits"). Moreover, most of the more challenging habits for us require up to 8 months of consistency!

Building a habit is a long process and, contrary to popular myth, it does not take 21, but rather 66 days on average (James Clear, "Atomic Habits"). What's more, most of the more demanding ones require up to 8 months of regularity!

Now that you understand the basics of how habits work, perhaps it's worth designing your own? I would encourage you to introduce one habit that cares for your mental wellbeing and helps you to manage daily stress. Perhaps a breathing exercise, gratitude, or meditation?